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[ The touches Caliban gives to him are probably ones which some might not believe a demon king of hell possible to give to another and yet, with him, he does. He assumes also with Alec whenever they end up in bed together. Maybe Magnus. Others? He tries not to think about it lest he make himself feel insecure and not as special which feels stupid to begin with, but. It is what it is and he feels how he feels. It's just harder to admit that he does— to talk about it because of that fear that it will one day be Too Much for someone or they'll get sick of it and he'll have messed it up. ]

It feels fine if it's me doing it. But when someone else does it, I don't like it. Because I'm selfish and greedy like any other mortal.

[ Mortal. Not human, because he's not one of those. ]

That's what I meant when I told you I was all sorts of fucked up.

A terrible time for me to point out there are times when I enjoy you're selfish and greedy-

[ There's teasing impish smirk at that but he's not chasing that point too far down its dirty alleyway it would no doubt lead. Though the others struggle with this isn't something he can fully deal with himself- considering he never really saw an issue with John's feelings for Alec. Not when he as affection for Reggie or for Magnus himself.

But there are *times* he could get jealous of John. If he saw the other submitting for someone- another dominant maybe- , or saw John giving himself over in a way that he saw as should be only for Caliban.

Though neither of those situations had come up yet. ]

Most mortals I know are, John. They're complicated and contradictory- and stubborn.

[ He mused lightly with a click of his tongue.]

[ There's a huff and an ugh as he pushes himself up from the demon. ]

I can't believe you're not bothered by this. Am I taking crazy pills or something here in this place?

[ Scooting down to the other end of the couch, he huffs again and grabs one of the pillows, pulling his knees up and wrapping arms around that pillow, hugging it tight, chin dropped atop it. Honestly, it's a good thing he can't see himself and how he looks when he's pouting because he sort of looks... cute doing it. ]

I don't know if I'll ever be completely ok with it. I'm not like everyone else here. It's like I'm a freak at home for being different and a freak here for being different in another way entirely.

Hey-

[ Thank you very much because he was enjoying a lap full of John as the other crawls off him and the demon just sighs as he runs a hand through his long blond hair and peers over at John for a moment.

He does look very, very cute as he pouts like that, pillow against his chest and just...well, adorable. ]

Would you prefer I had an issue with it? That I demand that you only love me? Or that I call you impossible because of the way you feel about this? Say you're screwed up because of it?

[ He pointed out with a little press of his lips.]

If someone from your past came here-....and told me that they loved you, and that wanted you, and asked me to let you go-...

[ There's a pause as the demon sucks on his cheek.]

I would refuse them, John. Perhaps that makes me a hypocrite as well- for I would not give you up so easily.

[ It's strange how hearing that makes the mutant look over to the demon with a sort of softness in his eyes — a longing, even, that might seem strange for one to feel about such a thing, but. It's there in those blue-gray eyes of his, peering over the top of the pillow. ]

You wouldn't?

[ The question is soft — careful. Almost as if he believes himself to being toyed with right now. ]

No. I wouldn't.

[ It's John's *choice* to love Alec and whoever else but he's still in Caliban's life, he's still in his bed and he's still allowing that love between them. ]

I love you, John. You are not something I would toss away because someone has a past claim to your heart, John.

That mark on your chest isn't something I share with just anyone. Your love for Alec is a joy because it makes you happy, John. Some other...past love who thinks they would be better for you?

I would fight for you- and every inch of your heart.

[ Again, Caliban goes and says how he feels about him — that he loves him and it still has John just staring to him. It's only when he goes and says how he would fight for him— fight to keep him and not give him up to someone else that he really hears the depth of those words and those words are what seem to get to him more than the I love yous. ]

Sometimes it's nice to hear that.

[ He says then, quietly. ]

I feel like... people here just get too caught up in— too used to how things are here with just being with anyone and everyone that it's like... it's hard to feel special sometimes. At least for me.

[ And why wouldn't a fire manipulating mutant want to feel special? Especially when anyone and everyone can be told they're loved here. ]

[ It's not a hard thing to see how John could feel like in a city where half the time the city was tricking you into being with someone out of the blue that he might feel less...special when it came to those more intimate feelings.]

I would punch a hole through the universes to be at your side, John. That is not something I can say for everyone.

[ He pointed out as he leans a hand over to give the other knee a little squeeze.]

Is there a way I can make you feel more...special?

[ Though he would say having his mark and being a more permanent submissive would achieve such a goal. Therés a pause before Caliban was just going to reach up to tug off his necklace. The shrunken down version of the crown he'd arrived with to the city, was one of the few things he'd bought along with him.

He didn't ask as he took the others hand and slip it down, over the other finger.]

Here.

[ He's not sure how to answer that. How to give the demon suggestions in making him feel more special. It feels like something where, if he knew the answer to it, he would just do it himself. Wouldn't he? But he doesn't know how to and so he doesn't. Feel special. Something to stupid and trivial and shouldn't be such a Big Deal when you have someone(s) who love you and yet... he does. Want to feel that way. Embarrassing (or pathetic) as it may be.

About to say something, he comes to pause when that necklace is removed and his hand is taken, Caliban slipping something on him which has the submissive blink up and over to the demon. Genuinely confused. ]

What are you doing?

Giving you something no one else will have.

[ Which seemed a simple enough thing to the demon. The other wanted to feel special, so why not give the other something that Magnus, Reggie or anyone else could ever have?

Something that was so dear to him that he'd dragged it from his own world.]

I won this crown, as a way to claim my throne.

[ He pointed out as he brushed his finger over the ring in question before his hand dropped away.]

And it represents that throne, and now it's yours.

[ There's a heaviness he feels in his chest when Caliban explains. Not because it feels wrong to have, but because he knows what waits for the demon if he ever leaves here. That he no longer has a throne for himself. ]

But that's all you've wanted, isn't it?

[ He lifts his gaze then. ]

Your throne? It's important to you.

Perhaps but so are you, John.

[ He pointed out- if only to express that the other was on the same level as that throne to him. As taking over the whole human realm was- John was special.

A feat that even Sabrina never quite managed.]

[ The smile he wears is a very soft one and he lets himself look back down to the necklace and small crown that he'd placed on his finger. ]

Thank you.

[ He says then, soft, looking up and over to Caliban after a moment. ]

I know it's not a fix to...how you feel but..

[ Because hey, he's aware complicated things like John's feelings about Jace or Alec or him don't get waved away in a simple gesture but he's trying all the same to help- There's a simple smile from the demon as he meets those eyes again with a little simple tilt of his head.]

But hopefully, it's a way to remind you that you are, in fact, quite special, John.

[ He pointed out as he leaned forward to bump his forehead against the others gently.]

[ The gentle bump to his forehead is a little unexpected and it shows in the way those eyes go bright and wide. It's not unwelcome, just a little surprising and he can't help but huff a quiet laugh as he pretty much just falls over onto the couch, pillow still clutched to his chest as his head drops to the armrest. ]

You're like a big fiery demon cat or something. You know that?

[ Caliban just chuckles as the other falls over on the couch and the demon just drops back himself against the back of it, resting his elbow against it as he peered down at the other.]

I'd take offense at that but you've never had any reason to see me be anything but that-

[ other than those times they hit the darker, more possessive side of sex, he supposes.]

But I'll take it as a compliment.

It is one.

[ He confirms, letting a leg stretch out there on the couch to... gently rest a foot on Caliban's chest. Because he can. Clearly. ]

It's my birthday this month you know.

Hm, if you say so.

[ Caliban arches his eyebrows at that foot but he does drop his eyes to it with a soft chuckle and simply presses his chest back against it- but doesn't move it for the moment.]

Oh? Would you like to do anything for it?

[ He'd suggest something dirty but...hey, that was more his speed for a party than the others.]

I don't know. I'm turning twenty-three.

[ Hard to believe he's had two birthdays here soon. The first hadn't been celebrated because he hadn't said anything. ]

You know... with you being a demon and all and me being a mortal, I'm clearly really young for you. Does that mean you like 'em younger?

That's quite a number.

[ He's more amused than anything because- hey, twenty-three is adorably young considering he's easily hitting his late 2000 years or so. That's an easy chuckle at those next words because-

Yeah. He supposes he does like them young.]

I'm fairly sure I outage even Magnus, John. Everyone is technically younger than me- save perhaps a few of the vampires or angels around. Though yes-

I suppose I do enjoy them younger in that case.

I'm surprised you can even get it up with being as old as you are.

[ Teasing, obviously, he wiggles his foot a bit there on the other's chest before he takes to looking at the little crown there on his finger again. ]

Our contract ends this month too.

I will hold you down and show you just how to work if you're not careful brat.

[ Caliban shot back at the other as he teases his hand down the other leg with a shake of his head and a gentle laugh dancing from his lips. Of course then the other changed that subject and the demon sucks on his cheek with a nod.]

It does- I suppose I should ask you if you still want to do the permanent contract plan, with or without the gangbang after, of course.

[ Coming to sit up there at the other end of the couch, he keeps the pillow there in front of him and stares down to it. Contemplative. Before he finally looks up to the demon across from him. ]

I want to think about it a little more.

[ He licks over his lips. ]

I'm not saying I don't want to, but... it's a big thing to go through with and I want to be sure it's what you and I both want. I can be impulsive— you know I can be because you've dealt with it even in person. So I want to be sure... if that's ok.

[ Caliban blinked at those words because he wasn't at all expecting that walk back of their plans, considering how happy he'd been at the other actually wishing to do such a...proper thing between them, and that life together that the other had seemingly wanted.

There's a little nod at those words, even if his eyes get a bit less bright because- hey, he can't help but be a little sad at that.]

But of course, my prince. You can take as much time as you desire. Those things are on your terms as always. I want you to be sure you desire such a thing as much as you do.

[ He knows the other has to be disappointed — if even a little. Why wouldn't he be? Scooting over a little on the couch towards him, he licks over his lips before he reaches out to touch Caliban's leg, letting the tips of his fingers stroke over it in a slow jagged line. ]

It's ok to be upset with me that I want more time.

[ He says then. ]

But I want to be sure— need to be sure. Because the last thing I want is to regret it or wish I never did some few months into it, you know? That's not fair to you. Not something you deserve to have to deal with.

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