it took me back. ineroth's torture was less sort of. modern, i suppose, like there wasn't bright lights and noise but it was pain that just never felt like it'd have an end, like. it was inside my bones those shadow tendrils
that place wasn't the same but it brought me back to that moment i thought, nothing they can do to me would be as bad as that. it doesn't matter i almost preferred it when they hurt me, because then i was resisting you know? then i wasn't giving them what they wanted and whatever they do i can tolerate it because i've lived through worse
i wanted to just come home and feel normal again but i cant i was bonded to nick so now i just feel this void where he was i think i'd prefer the torture even theirs. if it meant he could come back.
honestly torture helps pain helps, i just can't think about anything but the pain then like it helped me even before i went to hell, but. since then, even more so
but being with people i trust and love helps too so honestly just being with you would help
I've time with John- we're reconnecting but it doesn't mean I cannot make time for you.
Give me a few moments.
[ And true to his words- there was that familiar little spark of hellfire in the center of Nate's place before it sparks up into a tunnel of flame before it fades back down and away, leaving Caliban standing there in his usual open long-sleeved black shirt and black pants- his blond hair tied up into a short pony tail as he glances around the room.]
You know if you need me, you should never fear asking for my time- my love.
[ Nate's wearing an old t-shirt and a pair of ripped black jeans, nothing fancy or out of the ordinary. His piercings are back in place. So is the telltale bloodshot quality to his eyes, which they haven't had since before he entered that long sleep. He doesn't smoke often anymore, but if there's any time to do it, it's when he's dealing with grief.
He goes to Caliban right away, reaching up to trail his hands over his jaw. ]
I just know all of this was hard for him, he told me he left.
But I do...I want you.
[ His hands drop to Caliban's waist and then slide around it. ]
I have, um. Alcohol and, other things, if you like.
[ He notices that glazed-over effect the other eyes have but it wasn't worth commenting when it came to the demon. After all, it wasn't like he was the type to judge such a thing, even more so someone was dealing with the city dragging someone home.
The demon's arm smooths down Nate's back- grateful for the chance to touch the other without the guards yelling at them the moment they even got close. His head tilted slightly into the other hand. ]
It was. It is. He came home. He's at home. So. [ Caliban was doing his best to make that better.]
Well, I'm here. And I want to be here.
[ And he was happy to play the distraction for the night. To let the other focus on him rather than Nick. His head lowers to simply brush those lips against Nate's before he spoke again.]
Hm? Looking to share a joint? And let me have my wicked way with you?
[ Nate's body all but melts against Caliban. His shoulders relax, letting go of tension that he was barely aware of holding.
It's not just that Nick's gone, and he's craving the people he loves most. It's also that they couldn't do this when they were trapped together, not without being pulled apart and beaten. Here, in Nate's house, they're safe and free to touch again. He's free to tilt his head up and lean into that kiss, free to flick his tongue along the demon's lips, free to breathe in his scent and know they won't be interrupted. ]
I'd like that. I love it when you're wicked.
[ He pauses then, and leans close. He'd said in in text, but... ]
I love you. [ It's whispered, a breath on his lips while his eyes meet the demon's. ] I love you, Caliban.
[ Caliban's hands are firm on the other hip as he tries to ground the other in the moment with him, if only to get those lingering effects of their respective captivity. He smiles against that kiss and easily returns it- sinking against those lips for a few moments as his fingers press just a little harder against the others hips.]
You certainly seem to when you're all ruined and pretty...
[ He teased lightly before Nate said that words and the conversation shifted-the weight of them seemed way more real when said in person. Perhaps it was just the months of dancing around them- of making sure there was some distance even if they never spoke about it.
The demon swallowed- even if he didn't need it before he reached a hand up to cup the other's neck as he kept his eyes on the others. His tongue brushed along his lower lip for a moment before he said those words back. ]
[ Nate's hands come up to his neck, and gently brush upwards over his jaw. He looks Caliban in the eyes, and doesn't doubt a word the demon's saying. He thinks he's known for a while. He thinks both of them have, only now they're admitting it.
It should be admitted. All they do by not saying it is to court regrets, later, if they're separated.
When they're separated. ]
I know.
[ He leans in close, pressing against Caliban, before stretching up to kiss his lips. ]
[ It had to be better to admit it and let that truth lay between them in all its glory. His head tilts slightly into that hand as it brushes his jawline and his eyes meet the others without hesitation.
It's strange how comforting two simple words could be and yet it was hard to deny that "I know" did make the demon's body sweep with something indescribable. Relief perhaps.
He returns that kiss easily enough, his head tilting against Nate's with a pleased soft hum.]
[ When you're all sharing with others, only the moment can matter. The moment's enough, though, when it means Caliban's looking at him like that. He leans up, nudging his head against Caliban's. ]
Me too.
I don't want to waste time. I keep learning that lesson, I just have to remember it.
[ He presses closer, and kisses Caliban again. This time it lingers, and his eyes close while he settles against the demon. ]
[ He's tempted to reply to that but instead he was just going to sink into that kiss- letting these emotions and desires run free in that passionate kiss as he feels the other settle against him.
A hand was going to slip up under the other's shirt to find that mark he'd left on the other so long ago now. His finger brushed over it as he ignites that hellfire again- letting it sear into the flesh of the other all the fresher. ]
I'll just have to keep reminding you to remember such a thing. Remember your place in my arms.
[ He teased against the others lips to give the other a chance to take a breath.]
[ Nate gasps against that kiss, as the sudden burn sears against his hip. He loves that mark. It makes him tingle all over, and incidentally also makes his cock noticeably hard. It's just automatic, as is the pleased shudder that rolls through him. ]
Fucking...
Yeah. That's a good reminder.
[ He laughs, and then kisses Caliban again. This time there's more force, more urgency. He nips at the demon's lip before pushing his tongue into his mouth. If Caliban had been trying to turn him on, it certainly worked. ]
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no subject
breath-taking when I have you like that. Well, you're always hard to forget when you walk into a room but..
Dripping in blood and whining for me? Kinda favorite.
I still dislike you being hurt by any hand but mine. Those last few weeks have certainly proven that.
no subject
it took me back. ineroth's torture was less sort of. modern, i suppose, like there wasn't bright lights and noise
but it was pain that just never felt like it'd have an end, like. it was inside my bones
those shadow tendrils
that place wasn't the same but it brought me back to that moment
i thought, nothing they can do to me would be as bad as that. it doesn't matter
i almost preferred it when they hurt me, because then i was resisting
you know?
then i wasn't giving them what they wanted
and whatever they do i can tolerate it because i've lived through worse
i wanted to just come home and feel normal again but i cant
i was bonded to nick so now i just feel this void where he was
i think i'd prefer the torture
even theirs. if it meant he could come back.
no subject
...Can I do anything? To help- I mean, about Nick. I could torture you evidently or...we could talk.
You could come here. Nick's loss...I was fond of him, very fond but it wasn't anything close to sharing what you had with him.
I'm not particularly good at knowing what people need when it comes to such a...sting as a loss. I barely handle my own well let alone others.
But if you tell me what you need- I will let the universe burn out in my attempt to give it to you. So...
What do you need?
no subject
pain helps, i just can't think about anything but the pain then
like it helped me even before i went to hell, but. since then, even more so
but being with people i trust and love helps too
so honestly just being with you would help
that's what i need
no subject
I can...distract you in any way you wish.
I'll happily be what you need.
no subject
but
if you have time
then yes please come over caliban
no subject
Give me a few moments.
[ And true to his words- there was that familiar little spark of hellfire in the center of Nate's place before it sparks up into a tunnel of flame before it fades back down and away, leaving Caliban standing there in his usual open long-sleeved black shirt and black pants- his blond hair tied up into a short pony tail as he glances around the room.]
You know if you need me, you should never fear asking for my time- my love.
Cw: drug use
He goes to Caliban right away, reaching up to trail his hands over his jaw. ]
I just know all of this was hard for him, he told me he left.
But I do...I want you.
[ His hands drop to Caliban's waist and then slide around it. ]
I have, um. Alcohol and, other things, if you like.
no subject
The demon's arm smooths down Nate's back- grateful for the chance to touch the other without the guards yelling at them the moment they even got close. His head tilted slightly into the other hand. ]
It was. It is. He came home. He's at home. So. [ Caliban was doing his best to make that better.]
Well, I'm here. And I want to be here.
[ And he was happy to play the distraction for the night. To let the other focus on him rather than Nick. His head lowers to simply brush those lips against Nate's before he spoke again.]
Hm? Looking to share a joint? And let me have my wicked way with you?
no subject
It's not just that Nick's gone, and he's craving the people he loves most. It's also that they couldn't do this when they were trapped together, not without being pulled apart and beaten. Here, in Nate's house, they're safe and free to touch again. He's free to tilt his head up and lean into that kiss, free to flick his tongue along the demon's lips, free to breathe in his scent and know they won't be interrupted. ]
I'd like that. I love it when you're wicked.
[ He pauses then, and leans close. He'd said in in text, but... ]
I love you. [ It's whispered, a breath on his lips while his eyes meet the demon's. ] I love you, Caliban.
no subject
You certainly seem to when you're all ruined and pretty...
[ He teased lightly before Nate said that words and the conversation shifted-the weight of them seemed way more real when said in person. Perhaps it was just the months of dancing around them- of making sure there was some distance even if they never spoke about it.
The demon swallowed- even if he didn't need it before he reached a hand up to cup the other's neck as he kept his eyes on the others. His tongue brushed along his lower lip for a moment before he said those words back. ]
I love you too, Nate.
no subject
It should be admitted. All they do by not saying it is to court regrets, later, if they're separated.
When they're separated. ]
I know.
[ He leans in close, pressing against Caliban, before stretching up to kiss his lips. ]
You deserve to know. Right now, I'm yours. Okay?
no subject
It's strange how comforting two simple words could be and yet it was hard to deny that "I know" did make the demon's body sweep with something indescribable. Relief perhaps.
He returns that kiss easily enough, his head tilting against Nate's with a pleased soft hum.]
Mine. I rather like that.
[ Even if he didn't miss that "Right now.]
no subject
Me too.
I don't want to waste time. I keep learning that lesson, I just have to remember it.
[ He presses closer, and kisses Caliban again. This time it lingers, and his eyes close while he settles against the demon. ]
no subject
A hand was going to slip up under the other's shirt to find that mark he'd left on the other so long ago now. His finger brushed over it as he ignites that hellfire again- letting it sear into the flesh of the other all the fresher. ]
I'll just have to keep reminding you to remember such a thing. Remember your place in my arms.
[ He teased against the others lips to give the other a chance to take a breath.]
no subject
Fucking...
Yeah. That's a good reminder.
[ He laughs, and then kisses Caliban again. This time there's more force, more urgency. He nips at the demon's lip before pushing his tongue into his mouth. If Caliban had been trying to turn him on, it certainly worked. ]