[ There's a little click of his tongue as glanced away to let the thought run through his mind. As he settled though athousand years of various spells but his eyes did flick to John a moment later at the question.]
It's less that- and more that you might see the full extent of my...depth. I suppose. I've never hid the way I feel about the mortal world or the plans I had for it. But feeling such a thing would be more intense.
[ There's a beat though.] But I can make you feel what I feel for you. Just that.
[ Something permanent is not... what he's looking for. With anyone, for that matter. Not when his moods are so wild and unpredictable. to constantly or permanently have access to what someone else feels... he's not even sure he would have wanted that with Alec, in all honesty. It's just... too much, he thinks. Liable to complicate things even more than they already are in his head a lot of the time. ]
Magic isn't an exact art- John. Even for me. It could last thirty seconds or an hour, a day at worst.
[ He said simply with a little shrug as he peered down at the other. Since it wasn't a full bond- it was more like opening the window a crack to let the other peek inside.]
[ Magic isn't anything John really has much experience with himself, so. He simply has to take Caliban's word for it. A nod of his head, he looks down and, after a moment, reaches out to take the other's hand. Holding it. ]
You know... [ Looking up, he sighs. ] ...I'll have been here for two years next month.
[ There's a little tilt of his head as the other takes his hand but he returns that squeeze without hesitation.]
Oh? wish to do something to celebrate? Or is it...not a happy milestone? [ Because hey- everything that happened in the city. It's not shocking, really.]
A lack of a choice isn't really the same thing, John.
[ It felt worth pointing out, regardless.]
When you have only madness waiting for you in the darkness, finding my feet here is less of choice and more like the only move you can make on a chessboard.
[ He said simply with a little one-shouldered shrug as his fingers interlinked with the others tighter.]
But I would chose to be wherever you are, with every choice I could make. So I am happy here.
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[ There's a little click of his tongue as glanced away to let the thought run through his mind. As he settled though athousand years of various spells but his eyes did flick to John a moment later at the question.]
It's less that- and more that you might see the full extent of my...depth. I suppose. I've never hid the way I feel about the mortal world or the plans I had for it. But feeling such a thing would be more intense.
[ There's a beat though.] But I can make you feel what I feel for you. Just that.
It won't last long however.
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[ Something permanent is not... what he's looking for. With anyone, for that matter. Not when his moods are so wild and unpredictable. to constantly or permanently have access to what someone else feels... he's not even sure he would have wanted that with Alec, in all honesty. It's just... too much, he thinks. Liable to complicate things even more than they already are in his head a lot of the time. ]
no subject
[ He said simply with a little shrug as he peered down at the other. Since it wasn't a full bond- it was more like opening the window a crack to let the other peek inside.]
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You know... [ Looking up, he sighs. ] ...I'll have been here for two years next month.
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Oh? wish to do something to celebrate? Or is it...not a happy milestone? [ Because hey- everything that happened in the city. It's not shocking, really.]
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[ Rubbing the pad of his thumb over the back of Caliban's hand, he looks up to him again. ]
I'm guessing you're happy to be here. Because of what you have to go back to.
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[ It felt worth pointing out, regardless.]
When you have only madness waiting for you in the darkness, finding my feet here is less of choice and more like the only move you can make on a chessboard.
[ He said simply with a little one-shouldered shrug as his fingers interlinked with the others tighter.]
But I would chose to be wherever you are, with every choice I could make. So I am happy here.