[ There's that question again and Caliban's eyebrows were just going to arch up because he felt like he already covered this. Still...he can see that look in John's eyes- that need for the truth.
There's a little intake of breath the demon in no way needs since he doesn't have lungs as he shifts to lean on his elbow slightly, but keeps his eyes locked to the other.]
Mortals are always unpredictable John. Demons...we tend to be very narrow in our desires. A succubus craves sex. A Rusalka wishes to drown souls. Even as I am, the desire to become king and invade your world is something that's...understandable for a demon. Singular. We exist to strive for chaos under the cosmic order. Mortals, on the other hand...never seem to be so..easily understood.
[ He pointed out as he reached out to brush his knuckles against the other jawline.]
The fire in you was the thing that caught my attention with you so very, very early on. And fire isn't exactly always so predictable either. Having that change the way I feel about you because you...pushed me away hardly seems particularly fair.
I put up with you because I wish you to have you here, with me.
[ He pointed out as his hand dropped away.]
My desire for you never wanes- while I admit that I was...stung by your actions, in a way so very few have ever managed, I'd rather try to have you here than banish you for such a thing.
[ Staring to him still, he runs his tongue over his bottom lip and sighs, head dropping for a moment, strands of brown hair falling in front of his face as he does. ]
There's times I'm going to be cruel to you. Try and get you to banish me from your life. I know I've told you that before, but do you really understand that? Part of me will feel terrible for it and wish I didn't, but another part of me won't care. Because that's how I get when I want to burn everything around me down... I just don't care. In that moment, I don't. It's like the only thing that matters is letting go of that feeling inside me. Of lashing out and not caring if I hurt others or myself.
[ He's not sure if Caliban can understand — maybe? That deep-seated desire to just create chaos and not stop until everything is turned upside-down and burned to the ground. An almost need to, in some twisted way. Maybe it's the anger he keeps inside him still — the insecurities that bleed into emotions more dangerous and unpredictable. More raw and wild. ]
I've killed people back where I'm from. I've burned them to death and it felt good to. I don't know if that's really me or not. If that's who I am deep down. I thought it was. [ It was easy to think that when people feared him and what he could do. ] But coming here, it just... I don't know. I feel like I'm in a constant argument with myself. With who I should be. How's that for being a complicated mortal?
[ Caliban listened and just allowed John to say his piece, to let him vent and explain where his mind was. His head tilting as he listens, it certainly seemed like...well, a lot and yet all at the same time nothing he'd hadn't understood before John had said it.]
And there are times I'm going to be possessive or commanding or arrogant or have a thousand dark desires I wish to inflict on someone. I have licked the tears off a submissive face and enjoyed every moment of it. A wish to ruin or destroy isn't unknown to me. You mention murder and I've already confessed my desire to make the mortal world a new circle of hell that could bring untold suffering to such a place. You do not have a monopoly on wondering why we are together but your desires...and your impulses will happen and I'm not unaware of that. But you should know I make the choice to stand with them- and if I do not wish to do such a thing. You will know.
[ Caliban pointed out with a little brush of his fingers over Johns.]
I would suggest magic for your little issue but sundering one's soul into two, no matter how temporary, can lead to...mischief. Who do you wish to be?
Someone who can push back against you. Who isn't afraid to tell you to fuck off.
[ The grin he wears is soft but playful as he looks to the demon because... he knows damn well Caliban knows that's how he is and that he refuses to be anything else. That, even when he does choose to be as submissive as he can be when they're together, it's his choice to be so and not because Caliban tells or demands or expects him to be.
But maybe that's part of what draws Caliban to him — is part of that fire within him. How he dares to push back with his own fire and isn't afraid of putting his own foot down — of saying no.
Letting himself fall back down against the bed, he reaches out with his fingers for the front of that open shirt Calian wears and gives it a gentle tug, gaze on him as he does. ]
You scratch an itch inside me no one else can. You know what it's like to be fire inside. To want to consume and be consumed in the most chaotic of ways. It's why I can't entirely quit you. Because for all the people I could burn to death, I can't burn you and you can't burn me and so it feels like you're a kindred spirit to some part of me.
[ Caliban replied, as dry as he could possibly be even if there was a little twinkle in his eye. Honestly with everything he was- you would expect him to want to be with someone what followed his orders, or at least, demand to be treated like the utter King he was but the fact that John chose to kneel to him, chose to let him rule him or dominant him was the thing that attracted him just as much as the others pretty, filthy ways when they were together. John *chose* to put himself in his hands again and again. To make it clear what he could and couldn't get away with- to play within the limits of John's submissive was a joy that was just as addictive as much as it was a power rush.
Caliban moves with that gentle tug, leaning over the boy proper now. ]
And here I thought it was simply because I matched that dirty, filthy mind of yours, John.
[ He purred as he lowered his head to steal a kiss, a soft but very, very indulgent one before he was pulling away to meet those eyes again.]
You're fire born, and I am made from hellfire. It makes a certain sense that we are like this. You are mine, and I am yours in all the ways that truly matter.
[ The kiss is taken and John just lays there, watching the way Caliban looks to him from above. It's funny to think that an outsider might assume Caliban to force John into things — into what he wants, but it couldn't be any further from the truth. Regardless of his being a demon and a king, John calls his own shots with the dominant, as if he's known all along that, as a submissive, he holds a lot more power than a dominant does in terms of saying what does and doesn't go. That he's only submissive to him because he wants to be, not because Caliban tells him to. In that way, they really do go together pretty well. Shockingly. ]
And just how long do you intend to keep me for?
[ He asks with a slight tilt of his head, fingers softly trailing along the demon's arm as he does. Curious. Wondering. ]
[ There's a pause at that question because Reggie choosing to leave him still stung more than he'd admit but he'd promise himself he'd give John that same choice- It was up to John when they eventually came to an end. Perhaps just a side-effect of his immortality as he tended to look at things in centuries rather than days or weeks- the demon certainly had a different way of looking at time in general. ]
I would never put finality on such a thing. For it's as long as I'm allowed.
[ He pointed out as with warmth and affection flowing through his voice, while less dramatic than the usual way the demon might have proclaimed such a thing. It seemed better to state such as a thing as plain as he could.
[ He tilts his head into that touch, his eyes meeting Johns with a soft smile. He doesn't disagree that this place had softened him more than he'd like considering his darkness and his rage at the witches of his home.
But he couldn't deny that John was one of the few who really got to see him. All of him.]
You're a hard man to hide from John.
[ He pointed out as he trailed his hand down the others side lovingly.]
But you make every moment I don't quite worth it. So...
[ Well that's something he never thought he'd hear from someone, yet here Caliban is offering it to him rather honestly and sincerely. He's quiet as he mulls over that and, after a moment, he leans in to steal a slow and sweet kiss from the demon, settling himself back down against the bed after. ]
So you can't stop loving me. Even when I ask you to.
[ The demon just blinks a little at that kiss but returns it all the same, sinking against it slightly with a soft hum before it breaks and his eyes fall onto the other.
He does give a little nod at those words.]
I tried turning myself back to stone when you...took a step back, which I'll admit wasn't as successful as it use to be.
So.
No, I don't think I can do that for you. Even when you asked.
[ Caliban sucks on the inside of his cheek as he peers down at the other, choosing his words carefully.]
No.
[ Which was really one word, honestly.]
While it wasn't...planned for such a thing to happen. You're not the first mortal to stir such feelings inside me. And the grief that happens in their absence...is almost more unbearable than that the fate of the void.
[ Quiet in his thoughts, he reaches up with a hand then to let fingers brush against the demon's cheek before he comes to lean in and kisses him. Slow. Soft. Surprisingly tender as he lets it linger for a little longer until he cuts it short and just lays there with him, head on Caliban's shoulder. ]
You're sappy.
[ He softly murmurs, eyes falling shut, curling himself into Caliban a little as if seeking his warmth. ]
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no subject
There's a little intake of breath the demon in no way needs since he doesn't have lungs as he shifts to lean on his elbow slightly, but keeps his eyes locked to the other.]
Mortals are always unpredictable John. Demons...we tend to be very narrow in our desires. A succubus craves sex. A Rusalka wishes to drown souls. Even as I am, the desire to become king and invade your world is something that's...understandable for a demon. Singular. We exist to strive for chaos under the cosmic order. Mortals, on the other hand...never seem to be so..easily understood.
[ He pointed out as he reached out to brush his knuckles against the other jawline.]
The fire in you was the thing that caught my attention with you so very, very early on. And fire isn't exactly always so predictable either. Having that change the way I feel about you because you...pushed me away hardly seems particularly fair.
I put up with you because I wish you to have you here, with me.
[ He pointed out as his hand dropped away.]
My desire for you never wanes- while I admit that I was...stung by your actions, in a way so very few have ever managed, I'd rather try to have you here than banish you for such a thing.
no subject
There's times I'm going to be cruel to you. Try and get you to banish me from your life. I know I've told you that before, but do you really understand that? Part of me will feel terrible for it and wish I didn't, but another part of me won't care. Because that's how I get when I want to burn everything around me down... I just don't care. In that moment, I don't. It's like the only thing that matters is letting go of that feeling inside me. Of lashing out and not caring if I hurt others or myself.
[ He's not sure if Caliban can understand — maybe? That deep-seated desire to just create chaos and not stop until everything is turned upside-down and burned to the ground. An almost need to, in some twisted way. Maybe it's the anger he keeps inside him still — the insecurities that bleed into emotions more dangerous and unpredictable. More raw and wild. ]
I've killed people back where I'm from. I've burned them to death and it felt good to. I don't know if that's really me or not. If that's who I am deep down. I thought it was. [ It was easy to think that when people feared him and what he could do. ] But coming here, it just... I don't know. I feel like I'm in a constant argument with myself. With who I should be. How's that for being a complicated mortal?
no subject
And there are times I'm going to be possessive or commanding or arrogant or have a thousand dark desires I wish to inflict on someone. I have licked the tears off a submissive face and enjoyed every moment of it. A wish to ruin or destroy isn't unknown to me. You mention murder and I've already confessed my desire to make the mortal world a new circle of hell that could bring untold suffering to such a place. You do not have a monopoly on wondering why we are together but your desires...and your impulses will happen and I'm not unaware of that. But you should know I make the choice to stand with them- and if I do not wish to do such a thing. You will know.
[ Caliban pointed out with a little brush of his fingers over Johns.]
I would suggest magic for your little issue but sundering one's soul into two, no matter how temporary, can lead to...mischief. Who do you wish to be?
no subject
Someone who can push back against you. Who isn't afraid to tell you to fuck off.
[ The grin he wears is soft but playful as he looks to the demon because... he knows damn well Caliban knows that's how he is and that he refuses to be anything else. That, even when he does choose to be as submissive as he can be when they're together, it's his choice to be so and not because Caliban tells or demands or expects him to be.
But maybe that's part of what draws Caliban to him — is part of that fire within him. How he dares to push back with his own fire and isn't afraid of putting his own foot down — of saying no.
Letting himself fall back down against the bed, he reaches out with his fingers for the front of that open shirt Calian wears and gives it a gentle tug, gaze on him as he does. ]
You scratch an itch inside me no one else can. You know what it's like to be fire inside. To want to consume and be consumed in the most chaotic of ways. It's why I can't entirely quit you. Because for all the people I could burn to death, I can't burn you and you can't burn me and so it feels like you're a kindred spirit to some part of me.
no subject
[ Caliban replied, as dry as he could possibly be even if there was a little twinkle in his eye. Honestly with everything he was- you would expect him to want to be with someone what followed his orders, or at least, demand to be treated like the utter King he was but the fact that John chose to kneel to him, chose to let him rule him or dominant him was the thing that attracted him just as much as the others pretty, filthy ways when they were together. John *chose* to put himself in his hands again and again. To make it clear what he could and couldn't get away with- to play within the limits of John's submissive was a joy that was just as addictive as much as it was a power rush.
Caliban moves with that gentle tug, leaning over the boy proper now. ]
And here I thought it was simply because I matched that dirty, filthy mind of yours, John.
[ He purred as he lowered his head to steal a kiss, a soft but very, very indulgent one before he was pulling away to meet those eyes again.]
You're fire born, and I am made from hellfire. It makes a certain sense that we are like this. You are mine, and I am yours in all the ways that truly matter.
no subject
And just how long do you intend to keep me for?
[ He asks with a slight tilt of his head, fingers softly trailing along the demon's arm as he does. Curious. Wondering. ]
no subject
I would never put finality on such a thing. For it's as long as I'm allowed.
[ He pointed out as with warmth and affection flowing through his voice, while less dramatic than the usual way the demon might have proclaimed such a thing. It seemed better to state such as a thing as plain as he could.
Well plain for the demon.]
no subject
You're softer than you let people see.
[ Words he offers as he lays there, looking to him still. ]
But maybe I feel special to feel like I'm one of the few who get to see it.
no subject
But he couldn't deny that John was one of the few who really got to see him. All of him.]
You're a hard man to hide from John.
[ He pointed out as he trailed his hand down the others side lovingly.]
But you make every moment I don't quite worth it. So...
no subject
So you can't stop loving me. Even when I ask you to.
no subject
He does give a little nod at those words.]
I tried turning myself back to stone when you...took a step back, which I'll admit wasn't as successful as it use to be.
So.
No, I don't think I can do that for you. Even when you asked.
no subject
Does that concern you?
[ He asks then, cheek pressed against the mattress as he lays there on his back, looking to the demon there beside him. ]
That you can't rid yourself of feeling what you do?
no subject
No.
[ Which was really one word, honestly.]
While it wasn't...planned for such a thing to happen. You're not the first mortal to stir such feelings inside me. And the grief that happens in their absence...is almost more unbearable than that the fate of the void.
no subject
You're sappy.
[ He softly murmurs, eyes falling shut, curling himself into Caliban a little as if seeking his warmth. ]
For a demon.