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[clayking]

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@nate

[guylining]

john wants to remove his memories of alec

he needs help

i'm hoping that help can be you since it's clearly not me

[clayking]

Oh. And you said no?

I'm afraid to tell you that I'm not entirely sure it's me either. When John falls so far into grief and dispair...

I am not the one to bring him back from it. He's never quite trusted me like that I think.

[guylining]

i told him i'd do it by putting the memories in a container so he could have them back if alec comes back

he didn't want that

and he didn't want me to do it anyway, he wanted me to give him someone who would. says i'm biased which i am

i gave him hope's name
idk if he'll go to her but i'm gonna talk to her about it all the same

i'd rather someone i trust do it than he go to the city or something

[clayking]

A reasonable enough option- after all I came back after a month. Alec might as well.

Well- John has a habit of not relying on those he...loves when he feels like this. At least in my experience. His word view narrows and he doesn't listen to those who care for him. Well, more than he usually does at any rate.

Hope at the very least will understand his pain. She's lost Magnus after all.

I'm not entirely sure this...wise but considering the state he was in when he finally arrived back at home. I cannot argue with it.

[guylining]

last time he asked me to take something out of his mind i did it without telling anyone and it went badly wrong

i can at least do that part differently this time

[clayking]

Trust me- I remember that well enough. He did come after me with a knife after all.

...

So.

What do we do? Just leave him?

[guylining]

i don't know

i'm running on empty as it is

i thought you might know

[clayking]

...I mean I'm tempted to say keep a tracking spell on him to make sure he doesn't do anything terribly rash.

But I think I ultimately, we might have to let him...deal with what he's going though.

[guylining]

did he ever come to get those potions he asked for?

[clayking]

He finally came home after a few...intense nights away. And I gave them to him.

[guylining]

at least there's that.

ok. well i'll warn hope, and i guess we'll see what happens

caliban, i'm sorry. he's not the only one who's lost someone, and you deserve support too. i know this is only making it harder for you.

[clayking]

He did ask if I could cast a spell that would make him sleep forever- which is a little worrying.

Good.

I-...

It's fine. Nate. As I keep reminding people. I'm an immortal. I'll be fine.

[ Which is sort of technically a lie- it's not like he doesn't feel things- at times even more intensely than mortals but it was a convenient way to get people to stop people worrying.]

[guylining]

well that sounds like bullshit, being immortal doesn't mean you don't feel anything

look you probably have people better than me that you can go to

but like

if you want any company or anything, I have like a house full of witches and you'd be welcome to come hang out

[clayking]

No but it does mean we have a longer view of... life I suppose. I just don't wish to add more worry to your mind, Nate.

But thank you for your invite-

The house can be quite lonely when John is in his state. And I do enjoy your company, as I do Nick's company, of course.

So I shall take it up on it.

[guylining]

technically nick lives next door, but he'd come over, no doubt

don't worry about adding worry to me
i miss magnus, and now because of this i miss john too
but i can sleep with my arms around caleb or go out my head on oli's shoulder or just have a cuddle with nick
i'm not lonely
i don't want you to be lonely.

[clayking]

Ah- well, my mistake then.

[ He's tempting to point out again that he was a demon- and the others concerned about him being lonely was something that should be far down on his list of worries right now.

Still, it was hard to deny that he was ultimately lonely more often than he should be. ]

Well...thank you- I'll...sure it would be impossible to be lonely with a room full of attractive witches around you.

It means a lot that you'd offer that to me, Nate.

[guylining]

i know what it's like to lose someone you love

having other people around helps, maybe more than anything. at least it does for me

we could take your mind off it for a while, at the very least.

[clayking]

Magnus isn't the first I lost- though every time it happens that cut does seem to get deeper.

You do seem rather adapt at taking my mind off things if our previous experience was any indication.

Thank you- I shall swing by sometime then. Even if it's just to enjoy your company in less.. intense ways.

[guylining]

yeah see, i have many talents. this time i'll just cook you dinner :)

but that said, the intense thing can happen any time. turns out i like getting you out of your head, too.

[clayking]

My, handsome and he cooks. No wonder you're quite the catch.

It certainly got me into a different state of mine- no doubt about that. You were...

stunning, by the way. The entire way though it.

[guylining]

you know i don't remember many details

that's how good it was. i just remember how i felt. for a while there i was just thinking of nothing at all, like my head was empty and i was just floating. it's better than drugs, that feeling.

it was exactly what i wanted. you were perfect.

[clayking]

You don't remember my knife pressing against that pretty chest of yours?

Hm...interesting. Never been called better than drugs before.

I'm glad my utter depravity was so useful. Anytime you need that- I won't hesitate to indugle you. As were you, my pretty witch.

[guylining]

i remember the blade
i remember your hands around my neck
i could feel you inside me and you were so big and getting bigger and i was stretching and it felt like you were gonna split me in half
i think at one point i was crying and it hurt so much that i couldn't even get words out and it was just

fucking perfection
addictive, i'd say.
you were't useful, you were good. so good.
your depravity is actually fucking sexy, tbh

[clayking]

I remember all of that- though from the other side of it. I was practically drunk off that pain, of those whimpers and the taste of your tears.

Is this something you've done often with others?
It was just as addictive to me- I can't deny that. I certainly came harder than one would think with the taste of your blood on my tongue.
Oh yeah? So good?
That's certainly the first time anyone has said that in a while.

[guylining]

not as often as i'd like

but. ok so nick's dominant? kyle? he's a vampire, and i like it when he takes those urges out on me. i do that with hope now, too, hope mikaelson
that all started with a different vampire actually. lestat. he's the reason i made my strong healing potion, so he could drain me without killing me. it let him just keep drinking while i regenerated

that shit's what got me started on pain. i thought my kink was for the vampire thing honestly, for being drained
but then i got nick scratch to pierce my dick and it was clear that it was wider than that. he's the first one i did real pain play with

you've got to find someone who's as into it as you are, you know? most people wouldn't go as far as i like
but you do.