[ He shot back with an amused little twinkle in his eyes as he tugged one of the chairs out from the table and settled down against it, reaching out a hand to flick away some of those pumpkin guts before he addressed that next question.]
I did. I'm fairly sure everyone in the city did. [ He pointed out with a little shrug as he rested his elbow against the table.]
I feel like this is the part where I ask you if you're going to wear it for me. Not that sexy fireman is high up on my list of erotic dalliances.
[ He pointed out as he tilted his head- not that he was rather expecting the other to *wish* to have carnal pleasure with him. It had been quite some time after all.]
You're not wrong. It's hard not to be wary of something so...grand from the people who captured us here. A party like that tends to be the perfect place for such manipulations in my experience.
[ Ignoring the whether or not he'll choose to wear the "sexy fireman" costume, he glances up for a moment before he goes back to his careful carving, finishing with the second triangle eye that he gently pokes out. ]
Sure you could always find someone to go with if you do.
[ He glances up for just a second or two when he says that before he goes back to his pumpkin, sticking the knife in to start carving the small triangle nose on it now. ]
Yeah, everyone does. So what's the point of any sort of relationship here?
[ The nose doesn't take as long to carve what with it being small and he pokes it through the pumpkin, removing it from the inside as well as the other eye. ]
Just people making things needlessly messy as usual.
[ He pointed out with a little narrow press of his eyebrows because- well, that's what he was understanding from the other.]
And the point- is because this city is cruel and harsh, it takes those you care about with no logic or recourse John, and leaves the rest of us with seas of regret when they do.
So you find refuge in those moments you can with someone. You savor them when you can because you have little choice. Nate's affection for others does not dimension the moments he shares with me. Or wishes too. And my love for you could burn this city down.
[ He pointed out with a little press of his lips.]
This city is not a normal situation, John. All of us are just...trying to find a handhold in it.
[ He added sucked on the inside of his cheek before dropping his head back with a little wave of his hand.]
Or. They want you to get involved in these relationships with others — to care and all that so they can use it against you. If all you're doing is fucking around with others and don't actually give much of a shit about them, they don't really have any power over you, do they? Nothing to threaten you with. Sure they can physically hurt you. But are you really going to do what some jackass here says for someone you don't care about? Probably not.
[ A shrug, he sets the knife down, takes the black marker there on the table, and draws a crooked little mouth on the pumpkin before he goes about starting to work on that with the knife. ]
Like I said though. Do whatever you want. I don't really care.
[ I don't really care rather hurt for a moment. The blond sucked on the inside of his cheek as he just flicked his eyes over at the other. Partly- at the very least- because the other hadn't actually answered his question about finding the point in them and somehow that part sounded like an answer to it all the same.
That and he'd spent three weeks in a pit watching half the mortals around him die and turned into clay himself- so the other wasn't exactly *wrong* about having feelings for another could be turned against you but what was the alternative? Not to care?]
Of course John. [ Caliban said simply as he ran a hand through his long blond hair before dropping it to the side.] Of course.
[ John's been here for nearly two years now and, in saying that, has known for Caliban for nearly two years as well. He glances up to the demon amidst his carving — just for a moment — quiet as he follows along the inked lines he's drawn for the pumpkin's mouth. ]
I'm just saying everyone ends up with everyone here. Nothing surprises me anymore.
[ Caliban just shifts back into his chair with that same little suck of his cheek as he watches the other carve out that line of the pumpkin's face. It was tempting to point out those words weren't a lack of surprise- rather of condemnation of the very idea of it but instead, he just lets it slide away, as always.]
[ It was worth pointing out- god knows he's aware enough to know that he'd let out that room of the Grey Room for a "friend" of John's without little question.]
Not really the same when I don't end up falling in love that much to begin with. I flirt and fuck more than anything.
[ And he sort of wishes it stayed that way throughout his entire time being here. Even if he still deeply misses Alec and is still carrying that heartache with him. A heartache which is hurting a lot more than normal as of late.
Slowing with the carving, his expression changes then — softens some as he watches the way the knife moves through the pumpkin. ]
I don't think I should be with you or Nate. Romantically or whatever.
You say that like it's a common occurrence here for me. You. Magnus. Nate. Do not act as if every soul I bring into my bed is the same as you, John. Do not act as if I do not put you first. Do not act as if I've not given a part of myself to that is close to anything else someone can touch.
[ He pointed out with a little cut in that voice- the prince of old rearing its head for a moment in his tone. John was someone Caliban threw himself into the wall that was around the boy's heart again, and again, and again.
There's a blink at those next words because Caliban might as well be that pumpkin now and Caliban brushes his tongue along his lower lip before he glances away. A thousand things well up in his throat and die on his tongue.]
I see. Do you wish to break the contract? [ It was worth asking, anyway.] Or do you wish to keep it and simply not...indulge in such areas?
[ He doesn't bother to look up as he keeps carving. ]
I'm like the very thing I manipulate: unpredictable. Sometimes I'm fine and sometimes I'm not. Sometimes I want the relationship shit and other times I don't. I go back and forth. Not knowing which one is the one I want. It just feels like a lot of push and pull on my end when everyone else is all peachy keen with whatever shit they have with others. So it's better if you're with someone who's more stable in that regard. That's the kind thing to do, isn't it?
You're aware we've been down this road before. It was well-worn by this point- you say such things and I always come back with the answer that it's not about kindness. And my desire for you doesn't wax and wane when such things are hard.
[ He point out as he stands up to push away from the chair to fold his arms over his chest with a little bite of his cheek.]
You often feel like you're not some perfect ideal because you do not make it easy at times to be with. A fact which has never mattered-
But if you truly desire such an outcome... [ He's not exactly *not* hurt or happy about it, not when it's so close to the last time he lost another love.] As always- it is on your terms to do so.
[ There's a part of John every now and then that rears its fiery head from the depths of his mind and whispers all sorts of doubts to him. It's hard not to listen — not to entertain any of those whispers when it's just you and you alone. Whispers that dare him to see for himself how right they are and when he takes those whispers up on that dare, it ends up being like this.
With Caliban having someone else he can claim to love here, he figures this time, the whispers are right. That this time, when he puts that distance between them, it'll stay. He stands and John waits for Caliban to agree, but. Like always, he's not the one to pull away and it leaves John staring at the crooked mouth on his pumpkin he's stopped carving, knife still in the mouth.
Like always, he feels torn — confused and it's in that moment of uncertainty that the knife slips and cuts his finger, a little deep, given how sharp the knife is, but nothing being severed off unexpectedly. Blood does, however, drip onto the pumpkin's mouth, the mutant's hand, and on the table, and if he weren't so startled with the fact that he'd cut himself, he might think it funny how it looks like the pumpkin just bit him with the blood in its mouth now. ]
[ He wasn't exactly expecting the other to cut himself and it rather throws the demon off the conversation. He's not exactly squeamish at the sight of it - considering his past- as it drips down the other hand and onto the table, or over that grinning monstrosity that the other had carved up. ]
John... [ There's concern in his voice as he moves forward without really thinking and a hand moves to cup John's to inspect the wound without bothering to care as his own fingers get bloody for the moment as he does.]
Are you trying to cast blood magic to summon your creature to life?
[ Caliban murmured, even it if lacked his usual joking undertone as he glanced up at John with a little flick of his eyes.]
Shall I find a bandage or do you wish for me to just heal it? I'm aware they say scars are sexy but I'm not sure your finger counts- my-..John.
[ For a long moment, all he can do is stare at the red dripping from the gash there on his finger. Blood. His blood and it's enough to remind him of the last time he'd seen his blood. When that sentinel had skewered him through the chest and he'd bled out — had seen his blood like that for the first time. A trauma he still carries with him — still tries to run away from and it has him just staring at his finger and his blood for a long moment, not even registering anything that Caliban's saying before he finally feels the other's fingers around his own.
Eyes wild — panicked almost, he looks up to the demon and blinks a few times before his expression changes — his face scrunches up and he closes his eyes as his head dips, fingers of his other hand just barely holding the knife that rests in the pumpkin's mouth. ]
[ There might be times when Caliban fails to understand mortals- when their lifespan is so quick and their emotions so bright that he misses certain things.
But this was a little had to miss when it came to John- the way those wide eyes seemed to get lost in the blood, the way he seemed to miss every single one of his words.
His eyebrows furrow together again for the umpteenth time tonight as he goes ahead and makes a choice for John. Easily just wiggled his fingers to let his infernal magic burn over the other wound and close it up- a little showy but painless all the same.
His other hand was going to reach down to John's other one to take a little stronger hold of that knife.]
It is quite all right.
[ He said simply, soflty as he moves the knife to the table. Blade away from them both.]
[ It's not is what he wants to say, but all he can do is stare to his finger that no longer bleeds — that magic fire had brushed over and cleansed of the gash and the wound that had suddenly left him speechless.
Letting the demon take the knife and set it properly to the table, he finally looks up then before he looks down to their fingers, murmuring softly. ]
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[ He shot back with an amused little twinkle in his eyes as he tugged one of the chairs out from the table and settled down against it, reaching out a hand to flick away some of those pumpkin guts before he addressed that next question.]
I did. I'm fairly sure everyone in the city did. [ He pointed out with a little shrug as he rested his elbow against the table.]
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[ Careful with the knife, he goes about working on another triangle eye as he carves. ]
I'm not going because it sounds stupid and I don't wanna go to anything the head dick of this place hosts.
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[ He pointed out as he tilted his head- not that he was rather expecting the other to *wish* to have carnal pleasure with him. It had been quite some time after all.]
You're not wrong. It's hard not to be wary of something so...grand from the people who captured us here. A party like that tends to be the perfect place for such manipulations in my experience.
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So that mean you're not gonna go?
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[ He pointed out with a little shift back in the seat with a simple one-shouldered shrug.]
And it's not like the Violent Delights party. Where it enticed me with the desire for certain freedoms.
So I haven't really made a decision on it but more than likely not.
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[ He glances up for just a second or two when he says that before he goes back to his pumpkin, sticking the knife in to start carving the small triangle nose on it now. ]
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[ It's hard to miss the pointed word at that and Caliban gives a soft sigh,
tilting his head back to look at the roof for a moment because-]
You're aware Nate has a collection of loves- correct? I'm not even the first demon King in such a collection.
[ He's not exactly Nate's one true anything.]
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[ The nose doesn't take as long to carve what with it being small and he pokes it through the pumpkin, removing it from the inside as well as the other eye. ]
Just people making things needlessly messy as usual.
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[ He pointed out with a little narrow press of his eyebrows because- well, that's what he was understanding from the other.]
And the point- is because this city is cruel and harsh, it takes those you care about with no logic or recourse John, and leaves the rest of us with seas of regret when they do.
So you find refuge in those moments you can with someone. You savor them when you can because you have little choice. Nate's affection for others does not dimension the moments he shares with me. Or wishes too. And my love for you could burn this city down.
[ He pointed out with a little press of his lips.]
This city is not a normal situation, John. All of us are just...trying to find a handhold in it.
[ He added sucked on the inside of his cheek before dropping his head back with a little wave of his hand.]
Sorry. Sorry.
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[ A shrug, he sets the knife down, takes the black marker there on the table, and draws a crooked little mouth on the pumpkin before he goes about starting to work on that with the knife. ]
Like I said though. Do whatever you want. I don't really care.
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That and he'd spent three weeks in a pit watching half the mortals around him die and turned into clay himself- so the other wasn't exactly *wrong* about having feelings for another could be turned against you but what was the alternative? Not to care?]
Of course John. [ Caliban said simply as he ran a hand through his long blond hair before dropping it to the side.] Of course.
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I'm just saying everyone ends up with everyone here. Nothing surprises me anymore.
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As I said. You find someone to hold onto.
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[ He adds, still carving the mouth, it being a little more difficult with the jagged teeth and all. ]
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[ It was worth pointing out- god knows he's aware enough to know that he'd let out that room of the Grey Room for a "friend" of John's without little question.]
It's the nature of the beast.
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[ And he sort of wishes it stayed that way throughout his entire time being here. Even if he still deeply misses Alec and is still carrying that heartache with him. A heartache which is hurting a lot more than normal as of late.
Slowing with the carving, his expression changes then — softens some as he watches the way the knife moves through the pumpkin. ]
I don't think I should be with you or Nate. Romantically or whatever.
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[ He pointed out with a little cut in that voice- the prince of old rearing its head for a moment in his tone. John was someone Caliban threw himself into the wall that was around the boy's heart again, and again, and again.
There's a blink at those next words because Caliban might as well be that pumpkin now and Caliban brushes his tongue along his lower lip before he glances away. A thousand things well up in his throat and die on his tongue.]
I see. Do you wish to break the contract? [ It was worth asking, anyway.] Or do you wish to keep it and simply not...indulge in such areas?
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[ He doesn't bother to look up as he keeps carving. ]
I'm like the very thing I manipulate: unpredictable. Sometimes I'm fine and sometimes I'm not. Sometimes I want the relationship shit and other times I don't. I go back and forth. Not knowing which one is the one I want. It just feels like a lot of push and pull on my end when everyone else is all peachy keen with whatever shit they have with others. So it's better if you're with someone who's more stable in that regard. That's the kind thing to do, isn't it?
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[ at least in his mind it wasn't. ]
You're aware we've been down this road before. It was well-worn by this point- you say such things and I always come back with the answer that it's not about kindness. And my desire for you doesn't wax and wane when such things are hard.
[ He point out as he stands up to push away from the chair to fold his arms over his chest with a little bite of his cheek.]
You often feel like you're not some perfect ideal because you do not make it easy at times to be with. A fact which has never mattered-
But if you truly desire such an outcome... [ He's not exactly *not* hurt or happy about it, not when it's so close to the last time he lost another love.] As always- it is on your terms to do so.
cw: blood and stuff
With Caliban having someone else he can claim to love here, he figures this time, the whispers are right. That this time, when he puts that distance between them, it'll stay. He stands and John waits for Caliban to agree, but. Like always, he's not the one to pull away and it leaves John staring at the crooked mouth on his pumpkin he's stopped carving, knife still in the mouth.
Like always, he feels torn — confused and it's in that moment of uncertainty that the knife slips and cuts his finger, a little deep, given how sharp the knife is, but nothing being severed off unexpectedly. Blood does, however, drip onto the pumpkin's mouth, the mutant's hand, and on the table, and if he weren't so startled with the fact that he'd cut himself, he might think it funny how it looks like the pumpkin just bit him with the blood in its mouth now. ]
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John... [ There's concern in his voice as he moves forward without really thinking and a hand moves to cup John's to inspect the wound without bothering to care as his own fingers get bloody for the moment as he does.]
Are you trying to cast blood magic to summon your creature to life?
[ Caliban murmured, even it if lacked his usual joking undertone as he glanced up at John with a little flick of his eyes.]
Shall I find a bandage or do you wish for me to just heal it? I'm aware they say scars are sexy but I'm not sure your finger counts- my-..John.
cw: death mention
Eyes wild — panicked almost, he looks up to the demon and blinks a few times before his expression changes — his face scrunches up and he closes his eyes as his head dips, fingers of his other hand just barely holding the knife that rests in the pumpkin's mouth. ]
I'm sorry...
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But this was a little had to miss when it came to John- the way those wide eyes seemed to get lost in the blood, the way he seemed to miss every single one of his words.
His eyebrows furrow together again for the umpteenth time tonight as he goes ahead and makes a choice for John. Easily just wiggled his fingers to let his infernal magic burn over the other wound and close it up- a little showy but painless all the same.
His other hand was going to reach down to John's other one to take a little stronger hold of that knife.]
It is quite all right.
[ He said simply, soflty as he moves the knife to the table. Blade away from them both.]
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Letting the demon take the knife and set it properly to the table, he finally looks up then before he looks down to their fingers, murmuring softly. ]
I don't want you to go.
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Because not leaving isn't the same as not being with the other romantically. ]
This is my home, John. As are you. I would not leave.
[ He pointed out softly as a hand went to reach up to cup John's neck before he stopped because- well, blood.]
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